WHAT WE GET USED TO

By Ruth A. Sheets

I am always fascinated at the kinds of things we can get used to.  And, it often does not take much time for it to happen. 

I thought about this as I was reading a book, Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro.  It is about a group of students in a high school in Oakland, California.  The students attend an old, poorly maintained school in a working-class neighborhood.  Students had only worn-out textbooks and other materials unless teachers purchased things for their classes with their own funds.  Random locker searches are introduced as well as dangerous metal-detectors.

Students and teachers in the school have gotten used to bad lighting, broken-down furniture, broken lockers (kids have to rent lockers that actually work), and stained and missing ceiling panels.  Students doubt there is much they can do because the administration is used to things just as they are, (the kids need to be controlled, you know).  The district cares only about test scores, giving money only to raising those scores (or at least that is what they claim).  The police show up in riot gear with weapons to terrorize students for planning a walk-out to protest what is going on at the school.  They kill a student and injure others.  A protest against the treatment of the students is met with violence and another murder of a student because that is what police are used to doing, and with impunity.

I am thinking about what our society has gotten used to over  time and how little we even notice, unless personally impacted, it’s pointed out to us, or as activists we’re trying to change it.  Consider these  things we have gotten used to, most of which media promote, but probably shouldn’t. 

• - Helicopter parents today control nearly every activity of their children.  Even colleges and universities have become used to dealing with the constant parental interference.
• - Hospitals move out of cities into suburbs where there aren’t so many poor people
• - Guns are ubiquitous and “good” people have guns to take out the “bad” guys, right?  Tens of thousands of people die by guns every year.
• - Warm, almost non-existent winters occur every couple of years, and once-in-a-century storms and wildfires every few years too.  
• - Food from all over the world is available in stores all year round.  
• - White men are in power nearly everywhere and the fact that few women or men of color head big corporations is confirmation of white male superiority.  White male is the default setting for most decisions related to technology, medicine, science in general, industry, personal rights.
• - Oil is used for everything so will be around for a long time.
• - What is good for drivers supersedes what pedestrians or cyclists need.
• - Regulations are dismissed by Congress to soothe members’ donors.
• - Our media cover an ignorant, insulting, racist, misogynistic, homo/transphobic, xenophobic former president more than they cover the current president.
• - Gerrymandering in elections is just what happens and people in power won’t call it what it is, “cheating.”
• - People of color are regularly insulted, dismissed, belittled, excluded, treated like they aren’t really Americans.
• - Christian Evangelicals and Roman Catholics are a team that works to undermine the rights of women, people of color, and LGBTQ persons, claiming it’s god’s will.

- Rich mostly men are able to do whatever they want, with impunity because they have the sympathy and envy of the people they are hurting most.

- Unions are portrayed as irrelevant because businesses really have their workers at heart and unions spoil the relationship.

- Environmentalists are portrayed as ruining our economy because they are asking us to change too quickly, and just like destroying jobs and making trouble.

- Police act with little training, often letting their personal biases determine how they will respond to trouble, usually with few consequences if any.

- People won’t vote unless pushed into it because “it’s all crap anyway” or “nothing will ever change” or “they all do it.”

- Women will always have to fight for our rights:  bodily autonomy, equal pay, work accommodations, and just being included in our Constitution.

- Donald Trump will never be held accountable for anything he has done.  That goes for the rest of the Republicans who helped plan the January 6^th insurrection, lie about nearly everything, and threaten other elected officials.

- Blue and red states are so different the people have nothing in common.  Hate is inevitable. 

Just the way it is, right?  The question for me is how we came to accept the above, even though we complain about it at times.  

Social media, Fox Not Nearly News, and other media have distorted accounts of events and people for decades. Many followers of these media don’t realize that so much of what they have come to accept, was engineered to distract them, keep them from thinking about or challenging what was happening.  

How do we break up this collection of things we have gotten used to as “the way it is” and lessen the power of those who are undermining our society?  How do we ignite a fire under folks to get us all to stand up and say, “unacceptable!  this is not fair or just!”  How do we challenge our media platforms to do better, report more honestly.  What about our nation’s purpose “to form a more perfect union?”

We the People are not helpless if we choose not to be.  However, we need to come together to determine how to address the problems of what we have gotten used to.  We can change the “just the way it is” attitude when individuals, groups, communities, religious organizations, elected officials, and the rest of us stand up and say “I/We was/were wrong to go along with this.  It needs to be fixed.”  Then we all have to take our citizenship in this country seriously and fulfill its most important requirements:  investigating what candidates for public office stand for, voting in every single election, holding our elected officials to account for what they do in our name, and securing the rights of all Americans, not just the rich, white, straight male ones.  That’s a lot, but certainly doable.  Some additional things we might try could include:

1. Question what we see anywhere in the media.  When something comes up that seems either too good to be true or just nonsensical, find sources to either confirm or reject it other than the place we found it first.  Be slow to believe what we hear and read.

2. Contact our representatives often to let them know what we think, and expect them to listen.  We need to demand they set aside their personal biases when pushed to limit people’s rights.  Citizens’ rights and needs should have priority over corporate, religious, political, or other factors.

3. Keep ourselves up on what is going on in our communities.  It is harder now that so many local newspapers have been closed or absorbed into corporations that care nothing for local news, but it can be done.  Attend town/city/borough council as well as school board meetings and listen to what the officials are saying and how the community is responding.  Speak our piece if we feel moved to do so. 

4. A few things we should keep in mind when communicating are

 a. Be well-informed about the topic before speaking at a gathering. 

  b. Don’t insult anyone or call names. 

  c. If challenging a person’s position, restate the position and then respond to it, point by point why there is disagreement, even problems with the person’s position.

  d. Don’t let lies just slip by.  A lot of lying is unchallenged and sometimes becomes what a whole lot of folks come to see as the truth.

  e. When responding to online comments, be informed, civil, and to the point, as much as possible.

  f. Just because we like a candidate or official, don’t assume he/she is always right, cares about our needs, or doesn’t need our interference.  We can reevaluate.

  g. When there is a conflict, go with science.  It usually is more accurate than our feelings.  Check out scientific reports too, find the information in more than 1 reputable place.

  h. Fox “News” has admitted its pundits and others regularly lie to viewers and do it knowingly, almost gleefully.  Don’t get important information from them.

  i. Some people believe poor people are poor because of their own actions and that rich people are just so great they did it by themselves.  Both views are wrong, so don’t bring it up. 

Well, that’s a start!  Just because we’ve become used to something does not mean it is right or just.  We can do better!  Every one of us has the power to improve life, not just to make ourselves more comfortable, but to increase the quality of life for our neighbors and beyond too.