Lately, apologies are the thing. Make a slip of the tongue, apologize. Harass a woman or minority person, apologize. Get caught bribing someone or making employees open false bank accounts, apologize a little. Cheat on your partner or visit an escort service, apologize, if you're a Democrat, then resign from office. Tell some jokes that might offend a member of Mr. Trump's followers/White House family, definitely apologize. Make sexist or racist comments in public, apologize, well, sort of.
Apologies can be a way of moving a relationship or connection closer to balance after a crime or even a slight has been committed. Apologies are important when they are sincere and appropriate. The consequences of apologies, however, are not in any way equal.
People have apologized for things they have done, sometimes even for things they have not done. Often people's apologies have been false, said just to make a situation go away. And, if the apology was appropriately moving, the "right" person could be forgiven anything.
It seems apologies now are only for certain people, in particular, Democrats, liberals, progressives, some men. On "The Late Show" recently, Stephen Colbert had Bill Clinton as his guest. He demanded an apology of him for the Monica Lewinski affair that took place twenty years ago. Mr. Clinton, like him or not has apologized so many times since then it is ridiculous. He was president at the time of his fling with Ms. Lewinski, but she was a willing participant. Yes, a man has more power in this situation, but to claim that Ms. Lewinski had no part in what happened is to remove her agency. She, of course, is not expected to apologize for putting herself in the position to be drawn into the affair (or whatever it was). She could not have walked away? Was she threatened? I am not blaming her, but when do the apologies end?
I am concerned about the relentless nature of the demands for Mr. Clinton's apologies. It seems Republicans and conservatives are rarely held to account for much. I don't remember anyone asking for George W. Bush's apology for lying to start a war with Iraq in which hundreds of thousands of people were killed and many more were displaced. His lies were deliberate, convincing Congress to support military action that was inappropriate. Part of the campaign against Hilary Clinton was that she "supported" the war, the manufactured war.
Mr. Trump brags that he never apologizes for or regrets anything he does. He has cheated on his wives, lied over and over to the American people, threatened our allies. Where are the demands for his apologies? Republicans are in charge of all branches of the government and they will demand nothing in the way of apologies from anyone in their sphere, including for actions that are clearly unconstitutional.
It seems for conservative Christians and Republicans (they mostly overlap), a quick apology, possibly sincere, is just the ticket. It "lets" God forgive whatever behavior over and over. That, of course, does not work for anyone else because they are just not as holy or worthy, or maybe, rich. Mr. Trump is special for the Evangelicals because he doesn't even have to apologize and he is recognized as holy.
So, Mr. Clinton will keep having to apologize while those who actually cause real harm like Mr. Bush, the sexually abusing coaches and doctors, and religious zealots won't unless they choose to. Harvey Weinstein will and should pay for his abuses (not enough), a "liberal" you know, but the banks and companies that wrongly foreclosed on people's homes, overcharged poor people for services they didn't want or need, and produce destructive products make minimal apologies if any at all. At most they will pay minimal fines and just keep on keeping on.
The demanded apologies must stop. They mean nothing and are only used as an attempt to humiliate certain enemies. There is no "repentance" and rarely an attempt to change behavior or make amends to those harmed.
Skip the tearful, pathetic apologies and tell us what you will do to fix what you have done. And truly, we need to have some way of prioritizing wrongdoing. All acts are not equally heinous and should not be treated as such. Honest journalists need to step up and put an end to the apology demanding. Just accurately cover what happened, minus the apologies unless they are from the journalists themselves for getting swept up in Mr. Trump's misdirection and deceit.
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