The Year of the Toddler-Adults

By Ruth A. Sheets

As the year 2022 comes to an end, I, like many others, think back over the many events that have punctuated this crazy year.  The thread that seems to tie those punctuating events together for me is the presence of the many toddlers who now hold positions of authority around the world.

Toddlers  are supposed to be 1 to 4-year-olds who are learning to get around, to observe everything, and react to what others do.  They are curious and want to learn, the wonderful part of toddlerhood.

However, toddlers can be willful, demanding they always get their way, moody, and trying to prove they are in charge.  Some toddlers can be “mean” to other kids since they have not yet developed empathy.  They throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want or if they think someone ELSE is getting something they want.  They often refuse to follow their routine and in short, can make life very challenging for parents and everyone else.

Parents who understand kids at this stage can help them get through it with a personal emphasis on the positives, helping the child work through the hard stuff.  Most toddlers do learn to share and take turns.  They learn not to hurt others and to try all kinds of new things.  Some parents are not able or willing to help their child to move past the negative toddlerisms. 

What happens to those who do not come through the toddler stage well and grow properly into the next stages of life?  They get stuck and retain the worst aspects of toddlerdom and just expand those bad behaviors as they grow physically, looking like kids and adults at the various stages, but unable to mature.  These are often the schoolyard bullies, the ones who threaten and blackmail the other kids, the ones who are not caught because their observation abilities have shown them who to target and how to suck up to the adults in their world.  Lying is not a problem for them, just as it isn’t for an uncorrected three-year-old.  

By the time these folks are of an adult age, they are sure they are superior to everyone else and tell it to the world, doing whatever they can get away with to rise among their families, “friends,” college mates, and co-workers(often getting into the “top” schools).  For many, their college and job victories are insufficient to feed the ego at the center of everything they do.  They always need more!

These folks get positions of power because of how well they can “play” the people around them.  If they want something, they may well take it.  If someone does not go along with their schemes, they will work to physically harm or undermine them.  These are mostly not courageous people.  They secure some sycophants, desperate to be in the presence of ”greatness,” and are willing to do their dirty work.

Toddlers in power are a problem.  I always wonder why people are drawn to these toddler-adults.  I think it may be they put out some kind of vibe that turns on some people’s parental instinct, the way one responds to little kids exhibiting their natural childish behavior.  These toddler-men and toddler-women often have no trouble getting followers who will vote them into just about anything.  It truly is a puzzle we need to solve sooner than later. 

Currently, we have a good number of these toddler-adults on stage.  Donald Trump is one of the best-known, but there are plenty more in Congress and in state legislatures, primarily among Republicans.  Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Marjory Greene, Ted Cruz, and Marco Rubio are just a few that quickly come to mind.  There are governors like DeSantis of Florida and Abbott of Texas who demonstrate their childish behaviors on a daily basis, while others, less often. 

The toddler-conservatives on the Supreme Court have decided that women are second-class citizens and don’t even have the right to decide what happens to their own bodies.  The 5 men and 1 woman who made that ruling to overturn Roe v. Wade after nearly 50 years had no real reason to make that decision so had to scrounge for Medieval and 17^th century laws made up by witch-hunting white men to back them up.  They knew before the hearing what they would decide and had to find some way to try to justify hurting a whole lot of women.  What they wanted was more important than what the American people want, very childish, but toddlers in power generally get away with their childishness.

Around the world, we are having to deal with a whole group of mostly toddler-men who just can’t figure out how to grow up.  Besides, why should they when their toddler antics get them so much attention and power.  Russia’s Putin attacked Ukraine just because he could, believing he could walk in and take over no matter what anyone there wanted.  He whines and lies that he has a right to do this and threatens his people who don’t go along with it.  They have been well-trained to fear the child-man and do whatever he wants, just like the bad parents who let their toddlers rule their home.

The Taliban in Afghanistan have decreed that women can no longer attend colleges and universities, now only allowed to attend school until 6^th grade.  Why?  They will come up with a reason they will state publicly, but the truth is they are scared of women and the fact that women will be far more effective at running a nation with their knowledge than the Taliban who know nothing but killing people will ever be.  Child-men can’t have that!  The Taliban want women at home serving the every desire of the man/men who like spoilt children, want to make their mommy do whatever they want. 

Xi of China, too, wants his people to do whatever he says.  He recently got a shock when the people decided they didn’t want to do his bidding when they had had enough.  They are willing to acquiesce to the child-man sometimes but within limits.  This toddler-man is now trying to teach his people a lesson that terrible things will happen to them if they don’t listen to him and go along with everything the toddler-ruler tells them to do, like endure appalling quarantines and no vaccines or boosters for most of the people, no matter how bad it is and that Xi can do and go wherever he wants.  A whole lot of people will die because of their disobedience to the toddler-emperor.

All over the world, child-men are gaining power.  However, some of the child-men are being challenged.  It will be interesting to see how long people will continue to be pushed around by toddlers who are far more devoted to what they want than to what the people want or to what is best for their country. 

Toddler-adults don’t just happen.  They are the product of poor parenting.  No manual comes with a child as it is born.  Therefore, every parent needs help  and support with the challenging task of raising children to be caring responsible adults.  No child has the wherewithal to rule anything or anyone.  They will be tyrants if permitted.  No child is perfect or superior to any other at being human.  Parents, your children are not here to fulfill your dreams.  They should have their own and grow up to live them.  

Then We the People need to stop coddling toddler-adults.  Because they do not have the maturity to govern well, they are more likely to make a mess than do the right thing.  We must stop voting for them.  How can we tell who they are? You ask.

You’ll know you are either under the control of a toddler-adult or about to be when:

• their words speak in absolutes and threats – all women must, if anyone does, those who don’t go along are enemies, etc.
• their actions are designed to harm people who might object to being ruled/controlled by a toddler-adult – instituting book bans of books that talk about the world, history, sex, people who are not like the guy in charge, etc.
• They have people arrested for minor “offenses” the toddler finds threatening; develop a special military group loyal only to the toddler – morality police, election overseers, a private security force, etc.
• questions are asked and the toddler avoids answering them, blames the person asking those questions for something, the toddler outright lies, the toddler pronounces some kind of conspiracy theory about people the toddler claims must be stopped, etc. (distraction)
• the toddler-leader lies as a matter of course – example, Donald Trump lied in public while in office over 30,000 times and a whole lot since leaving office.  He and the other toddlers lie about anything and everything and hate being called on the lies.  They don’t like to be called on their cheating either.
• The toddler can’t actually state the why’s of what he/she believes but forces people to comply with whatever those unstated beliefs are – the Supreme Court conservatives made up reasons to declare abortion rights unconstitutional and let mostly white male state legislatures decide women’s reproductive rights; women are dragged off the streets and killed in Iran because their hijab is not exactly what the toddler has decided it should be (I guess the toddler doesn’t want mommy to show her hair, leave the house without some male relative, or do anything the toddler doesn’t want mommy doing).
• Money comes in from questionable sources to keep the toddler in power (dark money), and the toddler doesn’t want anyone investigating where it came from or making laws that require all donations be disclosed.  Remember, a lot of donors like supporting toddler-adults because they can be outrageous and cause havoc when encouraged

It is possible to notice the childish speech and actions if one is willing to pay attention.  We the People need to ignore the “R” or “D” associated with a candidate and dig deeper to find out if the candidate being supported is a toddler-adult.  If so, move on to someone who thinks and acts as adults do and can be counted on to make adult decisions, at least most of the time.

This is meant to be a note of hope that we all can start spotting the toddler-adults in power and work to keep them from and get them out of power, starting now!  We all need to be in it for the long haul as they say. 

Happy New Year!  Make 2023 great and with fewer toddler-adults in charge.

BOOKS OF THE YEAR LIST Part I

By Ruth A. Sheets

Every year, at this time, all sorts of media are putting out their list of best books, movies, music, and other formats of the year.  I see few movies, listen to music of all kinds on occasion, and don’t listen to enough podcasts to select a few best (although one best this year was Rachel Maddow’s “Rachel Maddow Presents Ultra” a must-hear).  So, I will forego the above-categories for consideration. 

However, I do read a lot.   As of the first week in December, I have read somewhere around 300 books.  They were not all published this year, so I can’t claim they are “the best books of 2022,” but they are the best ones I read this year.  I include them here because each one is worth checking out, in my opinion, of course.  They are generally in no particular order except that I read them all in the first third of the year.   So, here goes, my “best books read in 2022 Part I.”  I hope you’ll check a few out and let me know what you think.

Information Hunters, When Librarians, Soldiers, and Spies Banded Together in World War II Europe by Kathy Peiss - The author’s uncle was one of the information collectors during and after WWII rescuing books and other written materials that had been stolen or hidden, trying to learn whose books they were. 

The Venice Sketchbook by Rhys Bowen - An English girl meets and falls in love with an Italian boy in Venice while on a trip.  She is an artist who gets caught up in the insanity of WWII Venice.  Her great grand-niece goes to Venice to look for her Great-aunt’s story and finds love. (fiction of course)

 Bridge of Scarlet Leaves by Christina McMorris - Friends in LA, one of whom was Japanese, and secretly married his best friend’s sister experience WWII.  The friends went to war.  Maggie went to the internment camp with her husband until they were relocated to Illinois. 

Vanderbilt, the Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Anderson Cooper & Katherine Howe - An interesting look at an iconoclastic family and its many foibles, as well as its lack of empathy and appreciation for others except as they can use them, written by the son of the last Vanderbilt of her line, Gloria.

The Darling Dahlias and the Poinsettia Puzzle by Susan Wittig Albert -  The happenings of a small Alabama town during the Depression include corruption in a local prison, a child who could be a star, opening a bake shop when neither owner knows how to make bread, a romance, a newspaperman’s work, and more.  Fun and some recipes too.

An Irish Hostage, A Bess Crawford Mystery by Charles Todd – One of the last books in an excellent mystery series taking place during and just after WWI.  Bess attends a wedding in Ireland and gets caught up in the troubles.

The Paper Daughters of China Town by Heather B. Moore - An amazing woman fell into a job rescuing Chinese girls and women being trafficked in San Francisco.  She worked at and directed a rescue mission for these women for 39 years. 

The Dressmakers of Auschwitz, the True Story of the Women Who Sewed to Survive by Lucy Adlington - A life-changing book about women’s resilience in nearly impossible circumstances.  The women helped each other, shared, and resisted until they were able to get free.

 Wild Lives, Leading Conservationists on the Animals and Planet They Love by Lori Robinson & Janie Chodosh - I want to know more about the amazing work with wildlife most of them are doing.  One of them, though was OK with trophy hunting since lions reproduce so quickly.  I guess that’s one way to look at it.

 Forget the Alamo:  The Rise and Fall of an American Myth by Bryan Burrough, Jason Stanford, & Chris Tomlinson - The book moves through the lead up to and battle of the Alamo plus all the stuff that was hung on the event as time passed, none of it good, ignoring  The fact that defenders were trying to protect slavery, to drive out the Mexicans, and to dismiss the Tejanos who had also helped the Americans at the siege. 

 Straighten Up and Fly Right, The Life and Music of Nat King Cole by Will Freedwald - This was a terrific book about a singer hero of mine.  Just thinking of the book makes me want to listen to his music.  

MEMOIRS BY PEOPLE OF NOTE

Going There by Katie Couric - As much as I have liked listening to reports by this journalist, I knew very little about her.  This was an interesting well-written memoir

Just the Funny Parts and a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking Into the Hollywood Boys’ Club by Nell Scovell - A very funny comedy writer had to fight to get chances to prove her skills when a male writer would have had so much less trouble by just being male.  I like her humor.  

Unbound, My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement by Tarana Burke – She survived childhood sexual abuse and worked with women and girls who survived sexual abuse before getting the Me Too movement going to call men out for their bad behavior, no matter the race or financial status.

 My Broken Language, A Memoir by Quiara Alegria Hudes - A compelling memoir, strange, poetic, but a curious look at Hudes’ unique childhood in West and North Philly which led to her amazing career as a playwright.  I can’t wait till she writes the next chapter.

 The Boys, A Memoir of Hollywood and Family by Ron and Clint Howard - A fun look at the family that brought 2 child actors into the world and into the lives of people everywhere:  Ron in “The Andy Griffith Show” & “Happy Days” and as director of many films, and Clint in “Gentle Ben” and as a character actor in more than 200 films. 

All In, An Autobiography  by Billie Jean King - An interesting account of King’s tennis life and the many things she contributed to sports, women’s rights, and LGBTQ right\

Mr. Hockey, My Story by Gordy Howe - I really liked this memoir of one of Hockey’s greatest.  He played 32 years as a pro and had 2 sons to follow him into the NHL.\

Chasing History, A Kid in the Newsroom by Carl Bernstein - The co-author of “All the President’s Men” began his news career at “The Washington Star” with people like Mary McGrory and David Broder, people I have admired for years.  He began his career at age 16, right off the street and worked his way up to being a full reporter.

 The Dark Heart of Florence by Tasha Alexander - This is part of a mystery series.  Lady Emily and her husband Collen go to Florence for the Crown.  The book has a 15^th Century story and a 1903 part.  In the 1490s, a woman helps to save precious art and writings from those who would destroy them.  She left a message that Lady Emily helped to decipher while she helps solve 3 murders.

 When Can We Go Back to America, Voices of Japanese-American Internment During WWI  by Susan H. Kamei - writings by people , mostly American citizens who experienced the “internment,” rounding people up like animals and throwing them into barbed wire surrounded camps in the worst possible places to live in this country because of white trumped-up fear and racism.  Cruelty was the point.

 Valley Forge by Bob Drury & Tom Clavin - This was a revisiting of the events that led to, during, and after the army’s winter at Valley Forge.  Well-told. 

 The Hollywood Jim Crow, The Racial Politics of the Movie Industry by Maryann Erigha – A look at Hollywood movies of the past decades and the racist forces keeping movie-makers of color from success:  few directors of color, lack of wide distribution of films, less money for films by directors of color, no people of color in industry decision-making. 

 The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi - A girl in rural India escapes a bad marriage and runs off to the city where she becomes a henna artist for the rich women there.  Her previously unknown sister shows up and her life changes.

 The Arbornaut A Life Discovering the 8^th Continent in the Trees Above Us by Meg Lowman - A fascinating account of Meg’s adventures in studying the canopy of forests around the world and how critical that layer of the forests is to the well-being of the earth.  She helped design walkways that let people see the life in the trees.

 All That She Carried, the Journey of Ashley’s Sack, A Black Family’s Keepsake by Tiya Miles - Traces the probable history of a handmade sack a girl carried with her when she was sold away from her mother.  She passed the sack down to her granddaughter, ultimately passed on to the African-American History Museum.  An interesting way to learn history.

 Angel of Greenwood by Randi Pink - Angel is a high school junior in Tulsa, OK, who believes her task in life is to help everywhere she can.  She helps a boy figure out who he really is through her kindness and caring.  Their lives change drastically when the town is destroyed by white vigilantes in 1921.  Gr. High and older

 The Women’s History of the Modern World, How Radicals, Rebels, and Everywomen Revolutionized the Last 200 Years by Rosalind Miles - Some women I knew of and others I didn’t.  All of them made a difference in their own way from science to politics to discovery, to writing to media.

 The Happiest Man on Earth, The Beautiful Life of an Auschwitz Survivor by Eddie Jaku - His experiences were horrific, yet he made a deal with God that if he survived, he would treasure every day and be happy to have each day.  He said it took a while to get to that but he created an amazing life for himself.

 4,000 Days, Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman - This is a practical but fun guide to get us to stop trying to do everything while accomplishing  almost nothing and trying to be perfect when it’s impossible.

 Calling Bullshit, The Art of Skepticism in a Data-driven World Carl T. Bergstrom & Jevin D. West – A no-nonsense dissection of bullshit, who uses it, when and where, and how to identify it.

 Swing Shift, All-Girl Bands of the 1940s by Sherrie Tucker -I knew there were lots of great female musicians, but not that there had been dozens of “all-girl” jazz bands all over the country throughout the 30s and 40s.  And, despite the biases against them, they could do anything the male bands could do.  I wish there were recordings.  

 The Christmas Pig by J.K. Rowling - This is an allegory in which a young boy goes into the Land of the Lost to find his toy pig. 

 54 Things Wrong With Gwendolyn Rogers by Caela Carter - Gwendolyn reads an IEP report about her and finds it lists 54 things wrong with her.  She goes on a quest to find out why she gets so angry, can’t be still, forgets things all the time, and more.  Really good to help kids develop empathy and appreciation for others. Gr.3-7

 Chemistry for breakfast, the Amazing Science of Everyday Life by Mai Thi Nguyen-Kim - chemistry is part of all we do.   The author goes through a day discussing the chemistry of things from waking up to going to bed.  

 Mary McGrory, The First Queen of Journalism by John Norris -Great columns over the years, smart, relevant, and pulled no punches when dealing with the Washington crowd.  A true liberal, but not partisan.

 South to America, A journey Below the Mason-Dixon To Understand the Soul of a Nation by Imani Perry - A scholar travels around the South to try to figure out how much of who we are as a nation is dependent upon the presence of Black Americans. 

 Profit and Punishment, How America Criminalizes the Poor in the Name of Justice by Tony Messenger - At every turn, our justice system goes after the poor to pay for the rich and middle income through court costs, bail, and so much more, debt most take a lifetime to get out of when it started with a small infraction or no crime at all.  

 Caste, The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson - This book should be read by all Americans, particularly white ones.  It discusses the caste system in the US, how it works to keep members of various groups in their place with white males at the top and everyone else at sorted places below them. 

 Her Hidden Genius by Marie Benedict - A novel of the last 11 years or so of the life of Rosalind Franklin, discoverer of the DNA molecule.

 Joan is OK by Weike Wang (This is the story of a Chinese-American doctor who navigates the death of her father, learning to relate to her mother, and the arrival of COVID at her hospital.  It ended abruptly but was really good.

 Harpo Speaks by Harpo Marx and Roland Barber - A hilarious book that sort of describes Harpo’s life as a comedian, harpist, and all-around good guy.  It is hard to know which stories are true, but who cares.  I was totally entertained!

 Atlas of the Heart, Mapping Meaningful Connection, and the Language of Human experience by Brene Brown – An account of the range of human emotions and their potential impacts. 

 All Standing, The Remarkable Story of the Jeanie Johnston, the Legendary Irish Famine Ship by Kathryn Miles - A ship built to bring timber and supplies from Canada to Ireland, picked up potato famine survivors and took them to Canada and the US between 1847 and 1856 when the ship sank.  It carried about 2,000 immigrants and lost none of them unlike most of the “coffin ships” on the same route.