CAREER OPPORTUNITY IN TEXAS

by Ruth A. Sheets

On the 82^nd anniversary of the German attack on Poland that began World War II, I want to introduce you to a job opportunity inspired by the Nazis.  All you Texas Republicans, primarily men because conservative men do Nazi so well, get ready to earn a bundle for betraying your neighbors for $10,000 a pop.

Sound easy?  Of course it is, particularly if you are white.  It helps if you are also a misogynist and a self-righteous Christian too. 

“What do I have to do for such a bounty?” you ask.

Find a desperate woman of child-bearing age who may have become pregnant but can’t afford to keep the pregnancy or the pregnancy was caused by rape or incest, two very common occurrences in Texas, as you well know.  Note:  This works especially well if you are the implanter of the pregnancy.

Follow the woman around and watch to see where she goes and who she talks to.  If it looks like she is heading toward a Planned Parenthood center or some other abortion clinic, you get to sue that center or clinic or hospital, the person who drives her to the facility, and anyone else you can suspect of helping her, an automatic $10,000 per betrayal.  That’s a lot of money for almost no effort on your part. 

Where else in the United States of America can you get money for a simple betrayal?  Where else do you get to use your sadistic tendencies as well as your business acumen and well-developed misogyny to so much personal gain?  And you thought that kind of benefit died with the defeat of the Nazis at the end of WWII and the fall of Communism in Eastern Europe! 

Well, you’re wrong!  And, it’s right there in good ole Texas.  You can quit your old job and grab a few burgers and cokes and just sit and watch those baby-killing joints so you can nab as many pathetic women and their helpers.  The best part of this new career, your hypocrisy will be highly valued.  You say you got a girl pregnant once and she had an abortion because she was still in school and couldn’t take care of a child and you didn’t want to either?  No problem, no one will ask what kind of person you are really.  You just need to be an outward fanatic in a cause your Republican brothers see as essential to life in Texas.

If you are worried about people in your town shunning you when they learn of your betrayals, no problem!  Just do your stalking and betraying in a nearby community where you aren’t known.

JOB QUALIFICATIONS

- ability to dismiss feelings that the job might be unjust

- a nominal Christian faith that misses the love part and is into the do harm to those who are not like you part

- time to stalk women of child-bearing age and a willingness to betray them in their time of need

- a belief that democracy is whatever Republicans say it is

- a cut-throat competitive spirit to out-betray the other men and some women who are going after the same money 

Good luck.  Apply at the Texas State Legislature immediately.

NOTE:  This career may be coming to a Republican state near you.  Republicans are really good copy-catters, especially when it involves taking away people’s rights, that is, people who are not rich white straight Christian Republican men.