WHAT IS IT WITH CHILD-MEN?

by Ruth A. Sheets

The world is watching Vladimir Putin as he positions himself to try to take over Ukraine.  He already bit off a big chunk without the permission of the Ukrainian people back in 2014, just because.  Putin now has in his head that he will rebuild the Soviet Union and take over the territories that were once under Soviet influence whether the people want that or not.

It is almost as though he was looking at an old map and got mad that he couldn’t rule more land like you know, Stalin back in the great old days.  He has even proposed that Stalin be seen by Russians as a hero.  That may work for younger Russians because they don’t know what it was like under Stalin in the Soviet Union and Russian history does not actually tell the truth.  parents and grandparents don’t want to talk much about Stalin and his crew because he was so horrific and responsible for the deaths of so many millions of people, even Ukrainians, and the suffering of so many more.  They wanted Stalin to be forgotten.

Putin, while playing “let’s pretend,” is recreating Soviet history and Russia’s greatness and sees himself as bringing back the glory.  Like a little child who wants what he wants when he wants it, Putin does not ever have to examine what he wants.  He just knows he wants it and believes it will give him more of what he needs to feel comforted and secure. 

Poorly parented kids usually don’t think about how their getting what they want will impact others.  They throw tantrums, bully their parents and other kids, and make scenes so they can get their way, and above all, they get attention, which, of course, is rarely enough.  They get the little kid’s lunch money, or get to stay up a couple of extra hours, or get dessert even if they have not eaten the healthy food.  Those spoiled kids look for what they can get next.  Their success generally means nothing beyond that moment, but it builds their confidence for future actions.

Childish leaders, like Putin, reason like little kids in a tantrum.  They yell insults, blame everyone else for whatever goes wrong or for what they themselves have caused.  They lie about nearly everything and accept no accountability.  They are a bottomless pit of need.  They must get everything they want, power, money, territory, undeserved acclamation, and more.  Their wanting never ends.  They never have to fully mature (grow up.)  They live in a fantasy of being smarter, more clever, more talented, more everything than anyone else.  If they think someone has more than they have, they will work to destroy them or take what they have.

Putin has done this to everyone he perceives has seriously stood in opposition to him.  He is now the bully left standing in the playground, daring everyone to try to stop him.  

I call Putin and those like him “child-men” and right now, there are a lot of them in power or attempting to gain power all over the world.  The interesting thing for me is the way people are drawn to these child-men.  It is almost as though we instinctively know they are children blustering their way through life, so we want to help them in some way as caring adults try to help little children, to the point of supporting their absurd fantasies.

These child-men are not just leading countries like Russia, Hungary, China, Turkey, Syria, Brazil, Philippines, even the previous American administration.  Child-men are CEOs, legislators, party members, religious leaders, judges and justices, any position of responsibility could be occupied by a child-man, and often is.

A serious problem with having a child-man in power is that beyond themselves and what they want, what makes them feel good and strong that moment, they stand for nothing.  They rarely have an honest platform because it really doesn’t matter.  They find a few men and a woman or two who can write the speeches for them to read, but if asked about any parts of those speeches, they will blame, insult, misdirect, spout 3-word slogans, make things up, or just plain lie.  They, like schoolyard bullies are usually pretty cruel even to people in their entourage, and because those entourage members feel themselves close to power, they not only tolerate it, but come to expect, even like the abuse, like bad parents.

The successful child-man finds a base of people who have already given up on so much in life that they can’t look past the childish veneer to see that the child-man is an empty suit or rather, that “the emperor has no clothes.”

The child-man tries to make sure that anyone who does not love him just happens to lose their rights, even their freedom.  Guns are only for those who can be counted on to support the child-man.  In this country, that means loud white conservative men, and they can even carry their weapons wherever they go because who knows when they might need to use them!  Those who might not like those child-men in charge of the playground are terrorized and brutalized by police and other officials and are targets for the entitled white men who fire just because they feel “scared for their lives.” 

One way to keep child-men from ascending to power is to demand more of our leaders.  Just because a man is loud, can throw impressive tantrums, and can insult people and make himself look angry all the time does not make him worthy to be in charge of anything.  Those leaders rarely have positive ideas because they are too wrapped up in themselves to think more broadly.

Some things could make a difference but we, in this country will have to demand them.

- automatic voter registration for every single American citizen the day they turn 18 years old, and perhaps, incentives for voting so more adults can be in the room. 

- independent commissions in every state to draw district lines every 10 years with a national oversight board to be sure no one is being cheated and everyone is fairly represented.

- Vote by mail should be permitted for every voter who wants it also so more adults can be in the room. 

These won’t fix everything but a whole lot less energy will have to be expended on being able to vote that could be directed toward vetting candidates and actually researching platforms.  The citizens of other nations will have to make their own demands of their leaders.

We could also help parents and teachers to raise and educated group of young people who will have the skills and abilities of adults and be expected to learn and grow into them.  Then, from kindergarten on, teach children to recognize the kinds of behaviors that make good leaders and when those are not present in a candidate. 

Child-men have probably always been around, but now we see them and their bad behavior splashed over the airwaves as well as social media.  Perhaps those media could more often call out the leaders and candidates (child-men) for their childish behavior and their selfish claims and poor logic.  Media can identify power plays and the potential impacts on the people targeted.  Once a Putin is in power, it is hard to unseat him because of his ability to secure the loyalty of people as childish and cruel as he is.

OK, I am dreaming, but I do believe we could do better to interrupt vulnerable people’s infatuation with the needy child-men.  I think we can!  We definitely should!