THE APOLOGY PROBLEM

by Ruth A. Sheets

Lately, apologies are the thing.  Make a slip of the tongue, apologize.  Harass a woman or minority person, apologize.  Get caught bribing someone or making employees open false bank accounts, apologize a little.  Cheat on your partner or visit an escort service, apologize, if you're a Democrat, then resign from office.  Tell some jokes that might offend a member of Mr. Trump's followers/White House family, definitely apologize.  Make sexist or racist comments in public, apologize, well, sort of. 

Apologies can be a way of moving a relationship or connection closer to balance after a crime or even a slight has been committed.  Apologies are important when they are sincere and appropriate.  The consequences of apologies, however, are not in any way equal.

People have apologized for things they have done, sometimes even for things they have not done.  Often people's apologies have been false, said just to make a situation go away.  And, if the apology was appropriately moving, the "right" person could be forgiven anything.

It seems apologies now are only for certain people, in particular, Democrats, liberals, progressives, some men.  On "The Late Show" recently, Stephen Colbert had Bill Clinton as his guest.  He demanded an apology of him for the Monica Lewinski affair that took place twenty years ago.  Mr. Clinton, like him or not has apologized so many times since then it is ridiculous.  He was president at the time of his fling with  Ms. Lewinski, but she was a willing participant.  Yes, a man has more power in this situation, but to claim that Ms. Lewinski had no part in what happened is to remove her agency.  She, of course, is not expected to apologize for putting herself in the position to be drawn into the affair (or whatever it was).  She could not have walked away?  Was she threatened?  I am not blaming her, but when do the apologies end? 

I am concerned about the relentless nature of the demands for Mr. Clinton's apologies.  It seems Republicans and conservatives are rarely held to account for much.  I don't remember anyone asking for George W. Bush's apology for lying to start a war with Iraq in which hundreds of thousands of people were killed and many more were displaced.  His lies were deliberate, convincing Congress to support military action that was inappropriate.  Part of the campaign against Hilary Clinton was that she "supported" the war, the manufactured war. 

Mr. Trump brags that he never apologizes for or regrets anything he does.  He has cheated on his wives, lied over and over to the American people, threatened our allies.  Where are the demands for his apologies?  Republicans are in charge of all branches of the government and they will demand nothing in the way of apologies from anyone in their sphere, including for actions that are clearly unconstitutional. 

It seems for conservative Christians and Republicans (they mostly overlap), a quick apology, possibly sincere, is just the ticket.  It "lets" God forgive whatever behavior over and over.  That, of course, does not work for anyone else because they are just not as holy or worthy, or maybe, rich.  Mr. Trump is special for the Evangelicals because he doesn't even have to apologize and he is recognized as holy.

So, Mr. Clinton will keep having to apologize while those who actually cause real harm like Mr. Bush, the sexually abusing coaches and doctors, and religious zealots won't unless they choose to.   Harvey Weinstein will and should pay for his abuses (not enough), a "liberal" you know, but the banks and companies that wrongly foreclosed on people's homes, overcharged poor people for services they didn't want or need, and produce destructive products make minimal apologies if any at all.  At most they will pay minimal fines and just keep on keeping on. 

The demanded apologies must stop.  They mean nothing and are only used as an attempt to humiliate certain enemies.  There is no "repentance" and rarely an attempt to change behavior or make amends to those harmed. 

Skip the tearful, pathetic apologies and tell us what you will do to fix what you have done.  And truly, we need to have some way of prioritizing wrongdoing.  All acts are not equally heinous and should not be treated as such.  Honest journalists need to step up and put an end to the apology demanding.  Just accurately cover what happened, minus the apologies unless  they are from the journalists themselves for getting swept up in Mr. Trump's misdirection and deceit. 

IF A DEMOCRAT HAD DONE THAT... !

by Ruth A. Sheets

For years, I have cried out over and over, “If a Democrat had done that... ”  Republican politicians have been involved with, even done appalling, illegal, unconstitutional, or just plain immoral things.  Their acts are then dismissed as unimportant, sad, a moment of forgetfulness. 

The list is long.  It seems after Nixon’s Watergate “bad judgment,” Republicans just can’t be held accountable for anything happening either on their watch or directly as a result of individual members’ actions.

Some of the highlights include: 

- President Reagan’s Iran-Contra scheme, clearly illegal, but poor Mr. Reagan didn’t know anything about it and his minions were just following orders.”  (Whose orders, no one is quite sure.)

- Shutting down the whole government twice to prove a point. What point was clear neither time.

- 9/11 happened under George W. Bush, but he was seen as a president heroically bringing people together while Jimmy Carter was brought down because of the Iranian Revolution and Hillary Clinton was blamed and pilloried by Republicans for the raid in Benghazi.

-Candidate Donald Trump lied about every one of his opponents, made racist and sexist comments and maligned the family of a soldier killed in the Bush wars, accused a president of not being a legitimate citizen, yet was elected.

Attorney Gen. Jeff Sessions lied to a Congressional Committee in his confirmation hearings and most Republican senators are okay with it because he was “probably talking with the Russian ambassador about issues related to the Senate Committee he was a member of, not on behalf of Mr. Trump on whose election committee he was serving.”

Replace a Democrat’s name for any Republican named above and he or she would have been hung out to dry.  Remember, Bill Clinton was vilified and impeached for the kind of sex act that Mr. Trump brags about. 

I think of the Republican Party as the Teflon party.  Nothing negative they do sticks to them.

Comedian Bill Maher, though, has a better name for this phenomenon.  He calls it “The Magic R.”  If one has the Magic “R” behind his/her name, one can do practically anything and have it dismissed as some minor occurrence or nothing at all.  Cheat on your wife, no problem if you have the Magic R.  Lie to Congress, my goodness, “You must have forgotten.”  Insult fellow citizens from your high office?  No big deal, “He actually didn’t mean what he said.”  Lie to the American people, that’s okay, “the real Americans know you were just a bit angry with those other guys.”  Freeze up when you hear the news about 9/11, “Don’t worry, we’ll write a speech for you that will let you seem tough and in charge.”

And so it goes.  I do not know how to un-magic the R.  Republicans are very good with the language of deceit, finding phrases/slogans that sound good but mean the exact opposite:  “Right to Work bills” that actually lower wages and working conditions, “Religious Freedom bills” that make acceptable discrimination against people whose religion or practices they don’t like, “Voting Rights bills” that deliberately intend to keep specific groups of people from voting.

Maybe the way to remove the magic is to point it out every time we see it.  The media needs to call the “Right to Work,” the “Union-busting, Worker Repressing Bill” and “The Voting Rights Bill” the “Keep People (mostly Democrats) from Voting Bill.”  They started that with the bills discriminating against transgender people “Bathroom Bills.”  Good journalists will call the R’s out on all their hypocrisy so people can see it. Then, if citizens continue to vote for the hypocrites, they will know they are doing it and can be held accountable. 

I know, I know.  wishful thinking!