HAPPINESS – CAN WE FIND IT IN THE GOOD OLD USA?

By Ruth A. Sheets

January 30, 2024

 

I have heard that Finland is the happiest country on Earth.  One would not think so because a good portion of the year it is dark most of the day.  They have found ways to bring their own light into their lives and their society and happiness reigns for most. 

 

Why is our nation not way up on the list of the happiest?  One would think the richest country in the world would be  filled with happy people doing their best to bring happiness to others.  That’s not what the researchers find.    

 

I have been chewing on this for a while and think perhaps this nation has confused happiness with money and power.  And, I suspect for some people it might be true.  That would mean that the people in power who are very rich should be happy and spreading the happiness.  I am wondering if a reality is that the very rich are so addicted to money and power, they are oblivious to happiness or anything else except the emotions of the moment that will bring on their next power/money/power-money fix. We have been inundated with folks like Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and that crew for years and happiness is not a word anyone would use to describe them.  I have heard of studies that claim the rich are happier than any other group.  That followed studies that said the opposite. I am guessing money can buy studies too. I don't really care if the wealthy are happier.  Their wealth is keeping so many other people from being close to contentment, and that is a problem.

 

I am not sure Americans steeped in the current political negativity are even looking for happiness these days.  When something is going well and there might be a hint of joy, people will turn away from it for fear that if they embrace it, their luck will turn and what follows will be some tragedy.  I think the belief is that without joy or happiness, the tragedies will be easier to bear.  However, life is a risk.  We don’t know what will happen over time, but denying happiness is not the way to face life and its challenges.  Being miserable is not a way of life anyone should aspire to, but it seems that a lot of us do. 

 

Yesterday, I was going through materials I had used with my students over the last 15 years or so and found an article that caught my attention.  It is by Cloe Madanes, the title, “14 Habits of Highly Miserable People.”  I think I am getting a message because last week, my sermon was about joy and how we not only don’t practice it often enough but actively ignore it.

 

Do we want to be miserable or have we just fallen into the habit of misery, perhaps seeing it as a more powerful emotion than happiness and more worthy of inhabiting?  Ms. Madanes says that many of us find satisfaction in cultivating misery, not just in ourselves but in those around us.  Here are some of those “habits” she suggests people participate in that can make misery a constant companion.

 

1. Be afraid of economic loss.  This one is particularly active right now.  The economy is doing well, most people have jobs, although not all paying well, and prices are coming down.  We were primed by Republicans for a recession that has not happened, but the misery promoters are sure it will come, and sooner than later.  They say President Biden is doing a terrible job with the economy.  There is no evidence of that, but who cares about the truth when it’s about the economy.  Keep up the worrying!
2. Provide for yourself a negative identity.  “The sick one” or “the unmarried one” or “the depressed one” or “the one with all the phobias” could work.  Make sure everyone around you is aware of that identity.   
3. Pick fights with everyone.  They should rarely be physical, but verbal fights work well, particularly on social media or through emails.  Family and friends should not be exempt from such “fights.”  Also wringing hands and crying jags can help promote the conflict.
4. Turn others’ innocent remarks into insults, misunderstandings, or an intent to humiliate.
5. Unless you need the action for personal benefit or to “look good” don’t offer to help out.  Ignore the studies that say one’s mental and physical health improves with helping others.
6. Avoid gratitude.  Try hard not to express thanks for anything you have received.  Also ignore studies about the benefits of gratitude and generosity. 
7. Blame your parents for your shortcomings.  After all, they made you who you are, right?
8. Don’t allow yourself to enjoy life’s pleasures.  Tell yourself they are fleeting and won’t compensate for the miseries of the world, so why bother.
9. Ruminate and rehash every negative thing that ever happened to you.  Be sure to make minor things seem really important.  Blaming works well here too. 
10. Be critical of everything, all the time.  Be sure nothing meets your standards.  Voice your discontent often, whether asked for your opinion or not.  You can insert your negativity into nearly anything. 

 

OK, this is a bit over the top, but I bet if we are honest, we have participated in at least one of these “habits in the past year.”  It is especially easy when others around us are indulging.  When the news is filled with negativity pumped out by Republicans whose pleasure seems to be only the result of hurting others:  at the border, banning books, denying women and others bodily autonomy, denying trans persons their right to medical and emotional care, pretending our history was only white with a few other folks popping up now and then, just to cause trouble for those white folks, in Congress when for them passing a budget and keeping the government open is only possible if desperately needed programs are cut.  I am guessing they also get pleasure when their super rich donors stoop to give them significant money to continue their efforts of doing harm and making life even easier for those rich benefactors in exchange.

 

Well, such misery is the hope of Republicans.  It has been said that misery likes miserable company.  Republicans don’t want our company, only our misery.  One way we stand against them is to find points of happiness and share it with everyone.  We can promise ourselves each day that we will have times of joy, then recount to ourselves or to others at the end of the day, what those times of joy were.

 

Then in a political way, we can find some happiness in acting on behalf of this nation, our democracy, and all those who live here and want to come here for refuge and asylum.

 

1. We need a tax rate for the rich, on all their income no matter where it comes from at say 30% to start with.  Only money they can prove is being used for direct charitable giving to legitimate organizations is exempt, no tax shelters or trusts where they make more money than they actually charitably donate, and absolutely no political donations count as exemptions either.
2. No more tax breaks for private jets and other extravagant amenities for their personal comfort so they don't have to sit among the regular folks.
3. Capital gains will be taxed as any income just as it is for everyone else.
4. We need universal health care so everyone will receive decent medical care.  Pain and suffering are two factors that can get in the way of happiness. 
5. Everyone who runs for Congress or any other federal position or is nominated to hold any federal job for which they must be voted in by the Senate, must pass the citizenship test given to immigrants as well as a review of our Constitution.  That could potentially lead to fewer tramplings of our founding document.
6. Demand that our media, when interviewing candidates and “spokespersons” ask real questions and do follow-up questions when an answer is not clear or is clearly a lie. 
7. Find something to laugh about or someone to laugh with every day.  There are a lot of amazing cartoons and comedy routines that can serve this purpose as well as keeping us aware of what some folks are doing, but probably shouldn’t be. 
8. Believe the studies that say helping others and generosity improve physical and mental health and can open us to happiness.  Courage can also lighten our mood and help us make connections with other interesting people.

 

I say, these actions and a more positive attitude, and more smiles and laughter are worth a try because the misery isn’t getting us anywhere.  Besides it is feeding the misery of Republican bad actors and we just don’t need that.  The answer, yes, we can find and foster happiness right here in the USA if we choose to!