For some reason I have not yet figured out, this past few weeks, I have felt myself whining frequently. I don’t have these “spells” often, but when I do, it can be pretty pathetic. In my head or aloud (since I live alone), I whined that the weather is not great, I keep knocking things over, I can’t stand what is on TV or the radio, or people on the threads I read online are being particularly mean to each other (OK, they were being mean, but I was whining about it instead of ignoring them as I usually do. Then, I was even whining that the books I had chosen to read were terrible, and “why couldn’t I pick something good for a change.” I am hoping this whining is seasonal since winter is my least favorite season for all the obvious reasons, or at least obvious to those of us who don’t like winter.
I stopped myself this morning from a whine that was coming on and asked, so what is a whine anyway and why is it so annoying when it happens. I came up with the thought that a whine is a complaint about something we want to draw attention to, and even if it is unspoken, we want someone else to do something about it even though we know most of the time that either what we are complaining about is not a real problem, even a falsehood, or is frustration with something we may or may not be able to or just shouldn’t address. It also involves a particular tone especially when the whine is spoken.
Toddlers and kids just slightly older are the best whiners I know. Parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, and others who work with kids know the exact tone. It often begins with “why can’t I, you never let me, how come she can and I can’t, I don’t wanna go to bed, you made me do it, nobody cares about me, I want. Parents and teachers who have learned how to manage the whine can limit it significantly. Those who haven’t, teach children that the whine is how to get or do what they want or to make other people feel bad or scared, then do what the whiner wants.
If whining stayed just with children, things in this world would be better. Unfortunately, a bunch of adults have continued the practice and use it to promote sympathy from those tuned into whining and the need to oblige or comfort the whiner.
Adults who have been whining since childhood get really good at it. They can add their greater knowledge of the world and experience to the whine, even change their tone of voice sufficiently to make their words sound almost unwhiney. I have noted with my whines that they mostly occur when I am tired or frustrated, just like a toddler’s. I do add a sigh or two trying to disguise the whine as just normal frustration or anger when it’s a whine.
Lately, some politicians whine nearly incessantly, almost a genre of speech-making. The Republican Party and conservatives in general have, if not invented the adult whine, they have mastered it. Their speeches whine that We the People (not they, of course) have caused whatever is the problem of the day: immigration on our southern border, Critical Race Theory to be taught to sensitive white kids, letting trans kids use bathrooms or play in school sports, denying people jobs by phasing out coal mining, women killing babies, deficit that is too high because of all the money we give those lazy poor people (notice how they start to insert insults into their whines), those people are taking down statues of our heroes, those judges are persecuting me, I should be able to do whatever I want when I’m president, and so much more.
On Tuesday, I heard a woman whining that the independents in Nevada can’t vote in the state’s primary and that means no one knows who “we” support in the 2024 election. (Can’t you just hear the whine?) I wanted to yell (but didn’t this time), “the Nevada primary is not going to matter much for two reasons: state size, and a Republican chaotic setup with a primary and a caucus. Make your state legislature fix that.” I wondered, was the whine supposed to elicit sympathy or just to release some of the anger about the insanity of the situation. In either case, she was whining to the wrong audience.
Donald Trump is a master whiner. I suspect he learned how to use the technique when a toddler. He has kept it sharpened along with the toddler tantrums that often follow a whine not responded to as the whiner intends. I understand Trump’s most violent tantrums are not in public (although his tantrum tweets are out there), but his public tantrums are often threats that if he gets power again, he could act on them (that is if he remembers). If Trump’s memory isn’t there, his handlers will tell him, but also make up other things Trump can whine about and throw appropriate tantrums for just the right situations. Then, Trump can blame his “opponents” or even his handlers and whine that what he does to them is their fault. (That’s the adult addition.
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is learning quickly how to whine in the Republican style. He may have thought of the whines before, but until he got the job he now has, he didn’t have to do the whining in public, just running things from backstage. Now he does. He is improving a bit. His twist, he whines that something will not happen (bills DOA in the House from the Senate or that the impeachment of whoever he wants to target will go on). He does not have to explain because the explanations, if honest would prove that he is a puppet of Trump and would have to acknowledge it. I am awaiting the whine “he made me do it! They would have kicked me out of office if I hadn’t.” It’s coming, possibly if he is ever under oath. His current oath is just a formality for him. Protecting and defending our Constitution is just a suggestion. Were anyone to challenge him or Mitch McConnell, or Marjorie Greene, or the rest of the “Freedom Caucus,” if their bad behavior ever came under scrutiny, they would whine that they are being persecuted by those who can’t see the truth, or just how patriotic they are, or something equally ridiculous. Their tantrums must be moving to some, at least or they wouldn’t continue.
I can’t help but ponder what it is about toddlerhood that makes grown men and women want to cling to it. Maybe it’s the ability to try to get people to do what you want without explanations. It is putting on a show. A whining jag can go on for more than an hour for Donald Trump. I am guessing Ron DeSantis could whine for close to that long too. Candidates like Ramaswamy, when pumping up some sludge that sounds a bit like economics, and Robert Kennedy, Jr. when pushing his ridiculous conspiracy theories whine rather unconvincingly. I guess their message and whines aren’t good enough to capture the hearts of more than their closest friends. Nikki Haley has not had to whine too much yet because she just keeps saying the same lines over and over as though on a loop: “America is not a racist country,” we need change, Trump/Biden is too old.”
Maybe the reason Trump has been ahead in the polls is that Biden doesn’t whine and most Americans want to hear childish whining from their president, especially if it is very loud. Is it possible that whining arouses our parental instincts and we want to either make it stop or give comfort? If that is what happens, maybe the correct response is what good parents and teachers do, give the whiner a gentle time out to help him calm down and restate what he is saying, even give him the opportunity for a nap with no tech. People who whine too much are too wrapped up in their whining to do anything useful or helpful. Now, if only We the People could successfully parent Trump and his puppets. The Supreme Court could help with that process, but they are too involved with doing what their donors want. (Their employers are the American people, but we have learned they get more from the rich folks than We the People are able to pay) Listening to the Supreme Court today, it is clear they are desperate to stop Colorado from removing Trump from their ballot, a right Colorado should have. They are trying to use all kinds of ridiculous potential situations as though insurrection is not involved in this case, and states will just be about removing people from their ballots for any old reason. It is sad, but the outcome is already known. No quality parenting here.
So, whining will continue among our politicians. It has proven very successful lately. Fox “News” fills its evenings with pundits who whine at least as well as the conservative politicians. It stirs their viewer pot and will keep our nation in turmoil while global warming grows more and more serious and more and more people suffer. Let’s face it, no whiner will be able to help us solve this one. The people who care about this impending problem don’t whine very well. The rich fossil fuelers are far better at it, nearly perfect. Maybe it is going to have to be up to us to stop responding positively to the adult whining. Now, how do we set up a plan . . .
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